I’ve been very mindful of life patterns recently. Perhaps life patterns isn’t the correct term but coincidence doesn’t fit either. My mind conjures circles closing, but not closed, loose, open spirals that overlap. As much as I want to liken it to yarn and knit stitches, that’s too fragile. This holds up to time.

No, I’m not getting spiritual. My atheism runs deep, strong, and proud. That’s not to say I don’t see patterns. There are people that come into our lives and play a roll, events that alter our course. These the cycles I’ve been seeing. Perhaps the metamorphosis of a personal era into a new one.

Yesterday I published Stingray Quills Shawl. This design was originally done 11 years ago. It was inspired by a month long trio to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. In 2013 my partner had just finished a long construction contract. My father’s dementia was progressing. We were exhausted. That month in Mexico was life changing. We came back realizing that we both needed changes.

Six months later my father passed away. I’d left my job in the arts. I’d given myself 6 months to focus on knitting and recovery. That summer my partner scattered my father’s ashes in the Rocky Mountains. During the trip The Stingray Quills test knit was running and I put out the Yarn On The Road blog series. I was silently and privately falling apart and entered a deep depression.

My partner and I opened a business together that Fall. While it was the project I needed to pull me out of the darkness the full severity of my depression wasn’t dealt with. I settled into the motions of a new career but neglected my creativity. Years passed. We had a child. Work life balance was good. Yet I still was missing something. Then this summer I decided to knit a new version of one of my shawls.

The pattern was Rosemarie’s Garden Shawl. A pattern written for a family friend who’d retired to Penticton when I was teen. Rosemarie taught me to knit. She passed with dementia a number of years ago. We were heading to Penticton. My daughter asked me to teach her to knit on that trip. I picked up needles and began to see those life patterns.

By day two of that Penticton trip, I’d decided to return to design. I tracked down old pattern files (I’d lost most of my records in a computer crash in 2015). My long neglected website was revived.

Stingray Quills Shawl was my first priority. It had been test knit. I’d received yarn support from Ancient Arts Fiber Crafts for the design. Accepting the yarn and never publishing had bothered me. It was time to rectify this. I found the original sample, repaired some damage. It was tech edited and photographed. 

Another pattern emerged. Lili who modelled the shawl was the photographer of my first design, A Modern Victorian Shawl. We’d worked together in the arts but hadn’t seen each other in recent years.

Yesterday while I hit publish and met my self inflicted deadline to publish Stingray Quills Shawl on August 28th, my aunt was siting on my deck with my daughter. Another pattern but that’s a tale for another day.

THANK YOU

Thank you Ancient Arts Fiber Crafts for providing yarn support. This was my first yarn support and an amazing validation. Making a profit of knitting patterns that are professionally presented is challenging. Yarn support makes that goal more achievable. More importantly, as it was the first yarn support I’d received it reassured me that other’s saw merit in my designs. Someone else out there in the industry was putting some trust in me. This is perhaps why it had bothered me so much that the design didn’t publish in 2014 as planned.

Thank you to Lili for spending a lovely evening with me as we photograph wool items in August heat!

My gratitude and love go to all the fiends and family who have encouraged me to take this creative journey. The support and offers to help have truly been overwhelming.